What could I possibly say right now that could explain the amount of conflicting thoughts and emotions going through my head?
Like, I’m not kidding – I honestly have no idea what to say… This is probably the reason why Kelsey and I repeatedly dug-up reasons for not starting this ‘weekly journal’ earlier.
Week-by-week we’d set a plan to sit down and knock these things out.
Week-by-week we’d both ‘coincidentally’ forget.
This was originally supposed to be a 6-week countdown! (yah – pathetic).
Now, here we are – one week away from leaving home with a one-way ticket to a frozen plot of dirt in the Arctic Circle… nothing to say besides “I’m speechless”.
5 months ago, I was a full time student athlete at The Apprentice School, working 60+ hours a week, and wrestling at the collegiate level. I was newly married to the love of my life Her, and had recently moved away from our home at the beach to the flat land – suburban hellhole of Suffolk, Virginia. Needless to say, we were inadvertently in heavy pursuit of the stereotypical American dream.
Today – we’re homeless… crashing on my parents couch with nothing to call our own besides a couple pairs of clothes, our computers, a few surfboards/wetties and a backpack full of camera equipment. To cap it all off – we have a one-way flight in 7 days from Boston to Iceland, with NO IDEA how we’re even getting to Boston yet! A bit ballsy – I know, but please no pity on our behalf… crazy to think, we chose this life!
Needless to say, my anxious tendencies have been well exercised these past few months, but it’s been fully due to my own thick-witted mentality. Over-and-over, I’d find myself seemingly lost in this epic battle of priorities, trying desperately to solidify our preparations with logistical nonsense only relevant to the ‘corporate-America’ mentality we wish to leave behind. However, over-and-over again, some random factor would serve as open-handed slap to my face, causing me to wake up and regain focus on what’s right here in front of me.
For example, prior to leaving my job, I’d made sure to allocate enough time between my last day of work and our departure date to be able to handle several ‘business-related’ factors associated with our plans, as well as (what I though to be) a sufficient amount of time to spend with close friends and family prior to leaving. But, once again, my mind got in the way… Day-after-day, I booked meetings, scheduled appointments and created deadlines back-to-back, unknowingly neglecting the opportunity for valuable time spent with family.
Yah, I know – dick move, right?
But thank God I have Kelsey to set me straight! And just before Thanksgiving nonetheless. Having cleared our schedules, as well as our minds, we’ve dedicated this final week at home to doing exactly that – being at home! An absolute breathe of fresh air that I feel so foolish to have almost unintentionally ignored. All it took was a quick little reality check to snap me out of the corporate workhorse mentality I so passionately dread. Family means the world to me… to us. Their love and support throughout this process, as well as our lives in general has been nothing short of unconditional – even when I’m a complete ass.
So, with all that being said, and as much I’d love to sit here and keep babbling nonsense with ya – I have a family who greatly deserves my unconditional, undivided attention over the duration of these final days.
Guess I wasn’t speechless after all…